As I've been trying to remember back to what caused me to lose so much weight in such a short period of time I've pondered a couple questions: Why did I start a diet in the first place? Why did I eventually stop eating practically everything (I only consumed one apple and one can of Tab diet soda daily), and why I couldn't go to sleep at night unless I completed a very regimined exercise routine and ... how did I keep this from people?
The last question is easy: My parents enjoyed eating out during my last couple of years in high school and I didn't enjoy that at all. I would just say I was going to eat something at work or eat something later or ... I don't know. I pulled it off.
As to how the "diet plan" came to be ... this is how things went down (literally):
At the very end of my junior year - like the first day of "summer vacation" ... I got a minor flu bug. Actually - let's go back a month or so. About one month prior I happened to step on the scale after a "shopping spree" with my friend. The only reason I was "wondering" about my weight at that point was because we went to the mall to buy some pants and ... I could no longer fit into a size 9 ... or a size 11 ... or a WHAT? Not even a size 13 fit? YIKES! The only pair of pants that fit me [and THEY were tight] were a size 15-16 pants.
The last time I remember shopping for pants I was a size 9. When I stood on the scale for the first time in years I now saw that I weighed a little over 140 pounds! And ... THAT, my friends, was the first time I can remember actually paying "attention" to a scale. Sixteen years of age.
I've paid attention to it absolutely EVERY day since. *sigh*
Sorry - tangent again. Soooo ... I got that flu as summer began and -- I can't keep food down (sorry, TMI). Once I started feeling better I decide to check out that @#$%^ scale again ... just because I "felt" a little lighter.
Hey! What do you know?!! I was down to about 135 pounds - maybe even a bit less. Not sure the number but the scale was going down. WOW! More than 5 pounds simply because I didn't eat anything for 24 hours or so. That was easy enough!
I decided I wouldn't eat anything the next day ... or at least not too much of anything. I lost more weight. By the end of the week I was down a few more pounds. But -- I was hungry. So -- I went and had an apple. There was some Tab in the fridge so I had that too. Then - one day I went for a bike ride. The next morning the scale was down even farther.
"IF I ADD EXERCISE I CAN SPEED THIS WEIGHT LOSS THING UP!"
My senior portrait "session time" schedule arrived in the mail and now -- oooh ... now I had real motivation! It was actually a possibility I wouldn't look totally frumpy in my senior picture. If only I keep exercising and not eating.
And there you have it. By the end of the summer I weighed a little over 100 pounds, was in a size 5-7, felt crappy but looked fine. I remember the look on a classmate named Sue's face at our portrait session, "Becky - what happened to you? You look FANTASTIC!"
You have to know that this about Sue. Sue was one of the most popular girls in my class ... (she ended up being the Senior Homecoming Queen that next year) ... and this was the person who, that summer on that senior picture taking day -- looked at me and exclaimed (yes, exclaimed - ha), "You look fantastic!"
I haven't shared how unpopular I was when I transferred to that new school in 10th grade but trust me - I was unpopular. I went from being student body president (our school only went up to the 9th grade) ... AND head cheerleader at the previous school. When I had to transfer as a newbie in the 10th grade ... I was a complete "no name" - and it was a major blow to the ego. They didn't know me - I had braces, I was awkward, shy, uncomfortable in this new setting. I resented that I was treated like a nobody when I had been a "somebody" at my previous school. They had no idea who I was and I hated that feeling. Perhaps some of my previous ego was still rearing it's little head in a fight to regain popularity in my new surroundings. But I wasn't finding that to be the case.
And yet this one popular girl's simple comment of affirmation made all those late night exercise sessions worth it! Who cared about the awful fatigue and chronic constipation? And we all know I never missed the periods!!
Yet what was happening was that I was beginning to fear food -- I didn't want to eat and risk weight gain ... I didn't want to put any calories in my body - I wanted to stay littler. And maybe, just maybe, if I up my exercise routine I can stay thin forever!
Not only was I worried about eating/consuming calories ... I was also starting to despise exercise! It worked so well though ... I forced myself to continue doing it ... even when I was exhausted, even when I felt faint, even when ...
I kept exercising.
To be continued ...
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