Welcome to the beginning of a quest (yes, another one) ...
Lately, I have been hungry. I guess I could better begin that sentence by saying the hunger has returned.
With a vengeance.
For a full year I haven't really "felt" hungry. I've had times when I've wanted to eat something but it has been, for the most part, because I have waited too long between meals. I "gauged" whether or not the hunger was 'real' based on when I last ate something healthy/nutritious and/or whether or not my stomach was literally growling, etc. [If my last protein based meal had been at least 30 minutes prior and if my stomach was not growling then I would pour myself a glass of water and drink that. Water has ALWAYS worked - 100% of the time - to help me postpone eating until my next scheduled meal.]
Fast forward to today -- I am REALLY struggling with "hunger" this morning and I know it's not 'real hunger' because my stomach isn't growling and I've had a recent meal, etc.
Is it PMS? Come to think of it ... I did sorta' feel like this last month at this time. Hmmm ... maybe?
Or ~ am I not acknowledging that "something" is bothering me? Well ... honestly, I don't 'feel' like something is bothering me ... I don't feel like anything is bothering me at all. Things feel good, positive, happy, exciting in all areas of my life! I'm a little restless to do something more creative work wise but not until Ben graduates high school. I won't get this time back so I won't let it pass me by. I've acknowledged that my day will come but the time is not now for a change work wise. So -- I don't think "work" is it.
But I do feel like I may be falling back into old patterns of eating because -- 1) the food is there ... because -- 2) I want to ... because -- 3) I'm bored ... because -- 4) I'm restless ... because -- 5) it's not really making me feel sick/I am not 'dumping' ... -- because 6) I've lost the weight and it's not as big of a deal to be "super careful" anymore ... (huh?) ... -- because ... 7) ________________________
Okay, so honestly, I don't know what "7" would be ... there's a missing link I think (hey I'm a poet ... lol) but the long and short of it is that something seems a little off & I do not know exactly "what" yet ... thus -- this quest.
It really could be something as simple as hormones (sorry ... probably TMI again!). If that is all "it" is then I just need to stay positive and get in all my protein, vitamins, water, etc., plan what I will eat in advance, stick to the plan and enjoy the journey!
I do not want to regain my weight. I do not want to be fat again. I do not want to have to lose an excessive amount of weight again ever in my lifetime.
I have heard that the majority of post weight loss surgery patients gain a minimum of 15 pounds back after they reach their "goal" and that some gain all of their weight back and then some.
Ohhhh ... I don't want to be a "... & then some" girl! I just want to be some girl! :-)
What will make my weight loss any different? How can I guarantee my own success? I am the only one who can answer these questions and the answers are really going to have to be something I strive to find.
If it's simply a PMS thing then bring it body - I will TAKE you ... I will take you DOWN ... literally! lol
More later ~
Friday, January 28, 2011
Seriously??
8 - count them ... E-I-G-H-T ... measely "Peanut M&M's" will cost ya a whopping 180 calories.
That's all I wanted to say today. [There's simply no reason for me to have to carry that joy sucking information all on my own!]
Good'ay! ;-)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Saturation
I have decided I really want to saturate my life with things pertaining to post gastric bypass health in such a way that gastric bypass is not something I "did" -- but a "post gastric bypass patient" is something I AM ... on a daily basis.
I'm hearing that regain is a common occurence and I usually fall into the "normalcy" pattern[s] that others fall into so -- statistically speaking ... if I'm not careful *regain* will be a part of my future.
Focus - discipline - concentration - saturation. I want to/need to PAY ATTENTION at every meal, to every bite of food, every glass of water, every vitamin I swallow. I want to surround myself with others who have gone before me on this journey and are living a successful post gastric weight loss life.
The joy is in the journey and we all know a journey is a lot more enjoyable when shared and not traveled alone. :-) I do not believe this is a journey that can successfully be traveled alone so I am going to surround myself with friends! :-) Be ready - you'll be hearing from me!
Here's to the present and the future!
I'm hearing that regain is a common occurence and I usually fall into the "normalcy" pattern[s] that others fall into so -- statistically speaking ... if I'm not careful *regain* will be a part of my future.
Focus - discipline - concentration - saturation. I want to/need to PAY ATTENTION at every meal, to every bite of food, every glass of water, every vitamin I swallow. I want to surround myself with others who have gone before me on this journey and are living a successful post gastric weight loss life.
The joy is in the journey and we all know a journey is a lot more enjoyable when shared and not traveled alone. :-) I do not believe this is a journey that can successfully be traveled alone so I am going to surround myself with friends! :-) Be ready - you'll be hearing from me!
Here's to the present and the future!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
One Meal at a Time
One Meal At A Time
[Sung to the tune of “One DAY at a Time”]
Revised Edition: Rebecca Dahlen J
VS 1 –
I’m really hungry – (well, that’s nothing new)
Help me think twice (this eating’s a vice)
Oh, what will I chew??
Show me that doorway, I want to fit through
Lord for my sake, remind me to take …
One meal at a time!
CHORUS:
One meal at a time, Sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from you
Give me the strength to chew *everyday*
A little less food
Breakfast is gone, Sweet Jesus
And the lunch bell is about to chime!
Lord help me today – to keep snacks at bay
One meal at a time!
VS 2
It’s an ongoing battle (these “issues” with food)
When food calls my name it calls out quite loud (I’m serious dude!)
The joy’s in the journey and this journey’s sublime …
So Lord for my sake, REMIND me to take
One meal at a time!
(REPEAT CHORUS)
VS 3
And then there’s that workout I know I should do
I could always go walk or dance to the Wii, there’s the elliptical too …
There’s the bike, there’s the treadmill, There are stairs I could climb
And Dear Lord, for my sake – REMIND me to take
One meal at a time!
(REPEAT CHORUS)
just be ...
* just be*
Don’t be thin
Don’t be thin
Don’t be fat
Don’t be this
Don’t be that
* just be*
Don’t look back
With regret
Don’t be fearful
Don’t fret
* just be*
Don’t dwell on
The past
The now flies
Sooo fast
* just be*
Just BE here
In this moment
Relax
For a while ...
Look yourself in
The mirror and
Simply
Just
SMILE
Gaze into
Your own eyes
And LIKE
What you see.
For once
In your life
Just
Let
Yourself
BE!
* just be*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
rebecca dahlen
april 2009
Don’t be this
Don’t be that
* just be*
Don’t look back
With regret
Don’t be fearful
Don’t fret
* just be*
Don’t dwell on
The past
The now flies
Sooo fast
* just be*
Just BE here
In this moment
Relax
For a while ...
Look yourself in
The mirror and
Simply
Just
SMILE
Gaze into
Your own eyes
And LIKE
What you see.
For once
In your life
Just
Let
Yourself
BE!
* just be*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
rebecca dahlen
april 2009
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Now what?
I am now at the "AFTER" stage of my journey!
It is an EXCITING place to be and trust me, I'm savoring the moment. I say "moment" because I realize this is not the end of the journey but the beginning.
On Wednesday morning, November 18, 2009, my weight loss journey began. That morning at approximately 9:00 a.m., I underwent the Roux-en-Y procedure (more commonly referred to as laparoscopic gastric bypass) in Fresno, CA. My family accompanied me on this journey (a literal "journey" that included a 5 hour drive south for them) because my surgeon, Dr. Edward Felix, had come highly recommended, and both the surgeon and the surgery facility (Clovis Community Hospital) were covered by my insurance (no small consideration when you're looking at gastric bypass surgery and its costs).
My initial surgery went well but within 12 hours I began to experience complications. I could not keep any liquid down -- it either came right back up or caused massive foaming at the mouth (TMI - I know ... sorry ... but you gotta' know the truth about this operation and it's possible aftermath).
On Friday, November 20, 2009, at 2:00 a.m., I was wheeled back into the same operating room where Dr. Felix performed another surgery to repair a twisted bowel. Honestly, I'd have to spend too much time looking for my envelope that had both information and a photo of this surgery (but trust me -- it was a cool photo - haha) - and I can't even remember the technical name of the issue I had. I know that the surgeon described it by saying my intestine had a kink in it like a garden hose. It had looped over and become twisted -- so nothing could go down through the hose. Suffice it to say - it hurt. But the fix was quick and relatively painless and once I could begin sipping liquid again I was home free.
Over the next few months my weight loss progressed and really the only 'negative' side effect following the gastric bypass was a major bout of kidney stones that left me with more pain than I remember being in while I was delivering my second son without an epidural. He was a "big" little guy who, it turns out, was "sunnyside up" - and came out weighing a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces. But yes - the kidney stone pain was worse than that delivery. Maybe I just don't "remember" that delivery? Maybe it's just that, with that delivery, I got something great out of it at the end ... whereas with kidney stones the only thing you deliver is an ugly piece of granite. I passed three kidney stones over the course of ... well, a while ... and let's just say those suckers hurt. I had not been drinking my water as I had been instructed to up until that time. Trust me - I drink my water faithfully these days!
This morning I weighed 135 pounds.
Initially, I wanted to get down to 125 pounds but after going back and forth (many times) I finally decided to set my *first* personal weight loss goal at 135 pounds. I knew in my heart I could reach that weight, I knew in my heart I wouldn't feel like I was "starving" to get there and I knew in my heart people weren't going to constantly be saying my face looked too drawn/gaunt (I hate hearing that, by the way). So far I've only had one person tell me my face was looking too thin and it didn't really bother me this time around because, quite frankly, my face isn't looking too thin at this point.
I could easily stand to drop another 10-12 pounds and I think that is my goal now. I had decided - when I decided to make my goal 135 pounds - that I would get to this point and then honestly reevaluate things -- how I felt, how I looked, how my clothes fit, how things were going overall. Now I'm at that point of reevaluation and ~
I do not feel that losing another 10 pounds would be too much of a weight loss. I also want a little bit of leeway to relax every once in a while without fearing that a 24 hour one or two pound gain was going to put me over my ultimate goal of 135. IF I can get down into the 120's, THEN I will have breathing room -- not to gain but to relax at least a little knowing that I'm not right at the verge of breaking 135.
It's a personal decision. Some would say I shouldn't allow an ounce of leeway. BUT - that's "some" - that's not me. This is trial and error here and I'm in the trial phase. If I find it is an error then I'll have to revisit the idea.
There you have it - blog entry #1 of "Becky's BEYOND Bariatric Bypass" blog.
Welcome ... and thanks for stopping by! Be sure to scroll down the blog a bit for some before/after pics! ;-)
It is an EXCITING place to be and trust me, I'm savoring the moment. I say "moment" because I realize this is not the end of the journey but the beginning.
On Wednesday morning, November 18, 2009, my weight loss journey began. That morning at approximately 9:00 a.m., I underwent the Roux-en-Y procedure (more commonly referred to as laparoscopic gastric bypass) in Fresno, CA. My family accompanied me on this journey (a literal "journey" that included a 5 hour drive south for them) because my surgeon, Dr. Edward Felix, had come highly recommended, and both the surgeon and the surgery facility (Clovis Community Hospital) were covered by my insurance (no small consideration when you're looking at gastric bypass surgery and its costs).
My initial surgery went well but within 12 hours I began to experience complications. I could not keep any liquid down -- it either came right back up or caused massive foaming at the mouth (TMI - I know ... sorry ... but you gotta' know the truth about this operation and it's possible aftermath).
On Friday, November 20, 2009, at 2:00 a.m., I was wheeled back into the same operating room where Dr. Felix performed another surgery to repair a twisted bowel. Honestly, I'd have to spend too much time looking for my envelope that had both information and a photo of this surgery (but trust me -- it was a cool photo - haha) - and I can't even remember the technical name of the issue I had. I know that the surgeon described it by saying my intestine had a kink in it like a garden hose. It had looped over and become twisted -- so nothing could go down through the hose. Suffice it to say - it hurt. But the fix was quick and relatively painless and once I could begin sipping liquid again I was home free.
Over the next few months my weight loss progressed and really the only 'negative' side effect following the gastric bypass was a major bout of kidney stones that left me with more pain than I remember being in while I was delivering my second son without an epidural. He was a "big" little guy who, it turns out, was "sunnyside up" - and came out weighing a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces. But yes - the kidney stone pain was worse than that delivery. Maybe I just don't "remember" that delivery? Maybe it's just that, with that delivery, I got something great out of it at the end ... whereas with kidney stones the only thing you deliver is an ugly piece of granite. I passed three kidney stones over the course of ... well, a while ... and let's just say those suckers hurt. I had not been drinking my water as I had been instructed to up until that time. Trust me - I drink my water faithfully these days!
This morning I weighed 135 pounds.
Initially, I wanted to get down to 125 pounds but after going back and forth (many times) I finally decided to set my *first* personal weight loss goal at 135 pounds. I knew in my heart I could reach that weight, I knew in my heart I wouldn't feel like I was "starving" to get there and I knew in my heart people weren't going to constantly be saying my face looked too drawn/gaunt (I hate hearing that, by the way). So far I've only had one person tell me my face was looking too thin and it didn't really bother me this time around because, quite frankly, my face isn't looking too thin at this point.
I could easily stand to drop another 10-12 pounds and I think that is my goal now. I had decided - when I decided to make my goal 135 pounds - that I would get to this point and then honestly reevaluate things -- how I felt, how I looked, how my clothes fit, how things were going overall. Now I'm at that point of reevaluation and ~
I do not feel that losing another 10 pounds would be too much of a weight loss. I also want a little bit of leeway to relax every once in a while without fearing that a 24 hour one or two pound gain was going to put me over my ultimate goal of 135. IF I can get down into the 120's, THEN I will have breathing room -- not to gain but to relax at least a little knowing that I'm not right at the verge of breaking 135.
It's a personal decision. Some would say I shouldn't allow an ounce of leeway. BUT - that's "some" - that's not me. This is trial and error here and I'm in the trial phase. If I find it is an error then I'll have to revisit the idea.
There you have it - blog entry #1 of "Becky's BEYOND Bariatric Bypass" blog.
Welcome ... and thanks for stopping by! Be sure to scroll down the blog a bit for some before/after pics! ;-)
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