If I'm eating "it" ... then WHAT is eating "me" ???

Welcome to the beginning of a quest (yes, another one) ...

Lately, I have been hungry.  I guess I could better begin that sentence by saying the hunger has returned. 

With a vengeance.

For a full year I haven't really "felt" hungry.  I've had times when I've wanted to eat something but it has been, for the most part, because I have waited too long between meals.  I "gauged" whether or not the hunger was 'real' based on when I last ate something healthy/nutritious and/or whether or not my stomach was literally growling, etc.  [If my last protein based meal had been at least 30 minutes prior and if my stomach was not growling then I would pour myself a glass of water and drink that.  Water has ALWAYS worked - 100% of the time - to help me postpone eating until my next scheduled meal.]

Fast forward to today -- I am REALLY struggling with "hunger" this morning and I know it's not 'real hunger' because my stomach isn't growling and I've had a recent meal, etc.

Is it PMS?  Come to think of it ... I did sorta' feel like this last month at this time.  Hmmm ... maybe? 

Or ~ am I not acknowledging that "something" is bothering me?  Well ... honestly, I don't 'feel' like something is bothering me ... I don't feel like anything is bothering me at all.  Things feel good, positive, happy, exciting in all areas of my life!  I'm a little restless to do something more creative work wise but not until Ben graduates high school.  I won't get this time back so I won't let it pass me by.  I've acknowledged that my day will come but the time is not now for a change work wise.  So -- I don't think "work" is it.

But I do feel like I may be falling back into old patterns of eating because -- 1)  the food is there ... because -- 2)  I want to ... because -- 3)  I'm bored ... because -- 4)  I'm restless ... because -- 5)  it's not really making me feel sick/I am not 'dumping' ... -- because 6)  I've lost the weight and it's not as big of a deal to be "super careful" anymore ... (huh?) ... -- because ...  7) ________________________

Okay, so honestly, I don't know what "7" would be ... there's a missing link I think (hey I'm a poet ... lol) but the long and short of it is that something seems a little off & I do not know exactly "what" yet ... thus -- this quest. 

It really could be something as simple as hormones (sorry ... probably TMI again!).  If that is all "it" is then I just need to stay positive and get in all my protein, vitamins, water, etc., plan what I will eat in advance, stick to the plan and enjoy the journey!

I do not want to regain my weight.  I do not want to be fat again.  I do not want to have to lose an excessive amount of weight again ever in my lifetime.

I have heard that the majority of post weight loss surgery patients gain a minimum of 15 pounds back after they reach their "goal" and that some gain all of their weight back and then some.

Ohhhh ... I don't want to be a "... & then some" girl!  I just want to be some girl!  :-)

What will make my weight loss any different?  How can I guarantee my own success?  I am the only one who can answer these questions and the answers are really going to have to be something I strive to find. 

If it's simply a PMS thing then bring it body - I will TAKE you ... I will take you DOWN ... literally!  lol

More later ~