Enjoy the Ride ... :-)

Has the following ever happened to you? 

You're in the car on an interstate heading toward ... oh, I don't know ... humor me and pick your favorite destination for the sake of my story.  :-) 
You're coasting down the highway and all of the sudden you realize ~ 

"Woah!  I'm alot farther down the road than I thought!" 

You don't even remember getting from point A to point B! 

Huh?  What?!?  How did that happen?  Good thing you didn't hit anything along the way because it would appear you weren't even paying attention to the road for a while there.  What were you thinking about - what distracted you?  Did you zone?

THAT, my friends, is what I have come to realize I have been doing thus far on my post gastric bypass journey.

I have "arrived" at my goal but I've almost missed SOOO many sights along the way.  I had been daydreaming about the "when" -- thinking about what life would be like when I reached my goal, worrying about whether or not I would be able to "maintain" my loss once I got there, etc., etc., etc. ... SOOO preoccupied with getting "here" (and to carry the above analogy just a bit farther, of course I have decided I'm still wide awake and can drive a little farther -- aka -- I want to lose another 10 pounds beyond my initial goal weight) - but so preoccupied with getting here that I've kinda zoned out along the journey!  I've missed some key "fun" sights that I had promised myself I'd savor along the way! 

It's not tooooo late to stop and smell the roses so ... here are some favorite landmarks I was anticipating seeing for such a long time that I almost missed completely: 

• I am now buying clothing off the rack in any store I walk into.  We're talking bras, underwear, blouses, dresses.  Even pants!  UNHEARD of 1 year ago today!
• This past Halloween I was able to buy a costume from a REGULAR people store (not blow up purple balloons to be a plump juicy grape)!  Unheard of Halloween 2009!
• I did walk into Victoria's Secret and purchase something other than body lotion -- I was actually able to pick 5 CUTE underwear for $25 right off the table.  SOOOO cool and something I promised myself someday I would do and I would savor the moment the day I did it.  Unheard of 1 year ago! 
• This year our company is hosting it's annual "Super Bowl Chili Cook-Off and Jeans & Jersey Day."  I have worked here going on 11 years and I have never once been able to fit into a football jersey (decent "normal people" size) and/or wear cute jeans.  THIS coming Friday I will do just that!!  I went to Sears to pick up my football jersey and purchased a girls size medium right off the rack.  Unheard of 1 year ago!
• I went on a 14.2 m. bike ride with my husband today up to the Shasta Dam.  I kept up with him the entire ride, we talked the whole time, we laughed, we enjoyed the sights, and I LOVED the time together.  I rode my bike with my husband!  Unheard of 1 year ago today!
• I am wearing mascara, earrings, lip gloss, necklaces.  Not "unheard" of because it was impossible a year ago but ... I just didn't feel good enough about myself to wear any of these things one year ago!
• I purchased 3 -- count em' -- THREE -- bras with ease.  Prior to my "now" I hated bra shopping because it took me forever to find a bra that didn't cut into my skin -- front and/or back.  NOW?  Off the rack baby -- off the rack.  Well ... on my rack but ... purchased "off" the rack!  ;-)  Also would've been "unheard of" 1 year ago today!
• I can walk with ease from point A to point B.  I'm not winded - I'm not sucking air - I'm not embarrassed.  Unheard of one year ago today!
• I can grocery shop with ease.  (I still HATE grocery shopping ... not much has changed in that department from one year ago today but ... details, details!) ... I can move, shop, breathe, talk.  Unheard of 1 year ago today.
• When I'm at work, I can run across the street for something when called upon to do so and ... I can literally "run" across the street.  If I happen to meet up with someone on the other side of the road (such as happened this past Wednesday) - I can completely carry on a conversation without trying to hide how much difficulty I'm having breathing.  Unheard of 1 year ago today!

I write this not to brag - honestly - but to emphasize the need to pay attention, to savor the "moments", to encourage you to NOT miss the sights along this post gastric bypass journey!

The joy IS in the journey.  Getting to the destination is SWEET but there are sooo many beautiful things to look at, acknowledge and enjoy along the way!

Here's to you, friends!

SAVOR THE MOMENTS ...

Yesterday's History

Tomorrow's a Mystery

Today is a GIFT ...

That's why we call it the PRESENT.

Open & enjoy your gift.  Don't be like the little kid at Christmas who is so quick to get to the next present he opens and then quickly tosses the current gift to the side.  THIS gift - this journey - is pretty grand!  SAVOR IT - SIT WITH IT, ENJOY IT! 

And by the way -- give yourself some credit -- you've earned it!!!  :-)

If I'm eating "it" ... then WHAT is eating "me" ???

Welcome to the beginning of a quest (yes, another one) ...

Lately, I have been hungry.  I guess I could better begin that sentence by saying the hunger has returned. 

With a vengeance.

For a full year I haven't really "felt" hungry.  I've had times when I've wanted to eat something but it has been, for the most part, because I have waited too long between meals.  I "gauged" whether or not the hunger was 'real' based on when I last ate something healthy/nutritious and/or whether or not my stomach was literally growling, etc.  [If my last protein based meal had been at least 30 minutes prior and if my stomach was not growling then I would pour myself a glass of water and drink that.  Water has ALWAYS worked - 100% of the time - to help me postpone eating until my next scheduled meal.]

Fast forward to today -- I am REALLY struggling with "hunger" this morning and I know it's not 'real hunger' because my stomach isn't growling and I've had a recent meal, etc.

Is it PMS?  Come to think of it ... I did sorta' feel like this last month at this time.  Hmmm ... maybe? 

Or ~ am I not acknowledging that "something" is bothering me?  Well ... honestly, I don't 'feel' like something is bothering me ... I don't feel like anything is bothering me at all.  Things feel good, positive, happy, exciting in all areas of my life!  I'm a little restless to do something more creative work wise but not until Ben graduates high school.  I won't get this time back so I won't let it pass me by.  I've acknowledged that my day will come but the time is not now for a change work wise.  So -- I don't think "work" is it.

But I do feel like I may be falling back into old patterns of eating because -- 1)  the food is there ... because -- 2)  I want to ... because -- 3)  I'm bored ... because -- 4)  I'm restless ... because -- 5)  it's not really making me feel sick/I am not 'dumping' ... -- because 6)  I've lost the weight and it's not as big of a deal to be "super careful" anymore ... (huh?) ... -- because ...  7) ________________________

Okay, so honestly, I don't know what "7" would be ... there's a missing link I think (hey I'm a poet ... lol) but the long and short of it is that something seems a little off & I do not know exactly "what" yet ... thus -- this quest. 

It really could be something as simple as hormones (sorry ... probably TMI again!).  If that is all "it" is then I just need to stay positive and get in all my protein, vitamins, water, etc., plan what I will eat in advance, stick to the plan and enjoy the journey!

I do not want to regain my weight.  I do not want to be fat again.  I do not want to have to lose an excessive amount of weight again ever in my lifetime.

I have heard that the majority of post weight loss surgery patients gain a minimum of 15 pounds back after they reach their "goal" and that some gain all of their weight back and then some.

Ohhhh ... I don't want to be a "... & then some" girl!  I just want to be some girl!  :-)

What will make my weight loss any different?  How can I guarantee my own success?  I am the only one who can answer these questions and the answers are really going to have to be something I strive to find. 

If it's simply a PMS thing then bring it body - I will TAKE you ... I will take you DOWN ... literally!  lol

More later ~

Seriously??

I just thought you needed to be in the know ...

8 - count them ... E-I-G-H-T ... measely "Peanut M&M's" will cost ya a whopping 180 calories.

That's all I wanted to say today.  [There's simply no reason for me to have to carry that joy sucking information all on my own!]

Good'ay!  ;-)

Saturation

I have decided I really want to saturate my life with things pertaining to post gastric bypass health in such a way that gastric bypass is not something I "did" -- but a "post gastric bypass patient" is something I AM ... on a daily basis.

I'm hearing that regain is a common occurence and I usually fall into the "normalcy" pattern[s] that others fall into so -- statistically speaking ... if I'm not careful *regain* will be a part of my future. 

Focus - discipline - concentration - saturation.  I want to/need to PAY ATTENTION at every meal, to every bite of food, every glass of water, every vitamin I swallow.  I want to surround myself with others who have gone before me on this journey and are living a successful post gastric weight loss life.

The joy is in the journey and we all know a journey is a lot more enjoyable when shared and not traveled alone.  :-)   I do not believe this is a journey that can successfully be traveled alone so I am going to surround myself with friends!  :-)   Be ready - you'll be hearing from me!

Here's to the present and the future!

One Meal at a Time

One Meal At A Time

[Sung to the tune of “One DAY at a Time”]

Revised Edition:  Rebecca Dahlen  J

VS 1 –

I’m really hungry – (well, that’s nothing new)

Help me think twice (this eating’s a vice)

Oh, what will I chew??

Show me that doorway, I want to fit through

Lord for my sake, remind me to take …

One meal at a time!

CHORUS:

One meal at a time, Sweet Jesus

That’s all I’m asking from you

Give me the strength to chew *everyday*

A little less food

Breakfast is gone, Sweet Jesus

And the lunch bell is about to chime!

Lord help me today – to keep snacks at bay

One meal at a time!

VS 2

It’s an ongoing battle (these “issues” with food)

When food calls my name it calls out quite loud (I’m serious dude!)

The joy’s in the journey and this journey’s sublime …

So Lord for my sake, REMIND me to take

One meal at a time!

(REPEAT CHORUS)

VS 3

And then there’s that workout I know I should do

I could always go walk or dance to the Wii, there’s the elliptical too …

There’s the bike, there’s the treadmill, There are stairs I could climb

And Dear Lord, for my sake – REMIND me to take

One meal at a time!

(REPEAT CHORUS)

just be ...

* just be*

Don’t be thin

Don’t be fat
Don’t be this
Don’t be that

* just be*


Don’t look back
With regret
Don’t be fearful
Don’t fret

* just be*


Don’t dwell on
The past
The now flies
Sooo fast


* just be*


Just BE here
In this moment
Relax
For a while ...


Look yourself in
The mirror and
Simply
Just 
SMILE


Gaze into
Your own eyes
And LIKE
What you see.


For once
In your life
Just
Let
Yourself
BE!


* just be*


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

rebecca dahlen
april 2009

Now what?

I am now at the "AFTER" stage of my journey! 


It is an EXCITING place to be and trust me, I'm savoring the moment.  I say "moment" because I realize this is not the end of the journey but the beginning.


On Wednesday morning, November 18, 2009, my weight loss journey began.  That morning at approximately 9:00 a.m., I underwent the Roux-en-Y procedure (more commonly referred to as laparoscopic gastric bypass) in Fresno, CA.  My family accompanied me on this journey (a literal "journey" that included a 5 hour drive south for them) because my surgeon, Dr. Edward Felix, had come highly recommended, and both the surgeon and the surgery facility (Clovis Community Hospital) were covered by my insurance (no small consideration when you're looking at gastric bypass surgery and its costs).


My initial surgery went well but within 12 hours I began to experience complications.  I could not keep any liquid down -- it either came right back up or caused massive foaming at the mouth (TMI - I know ... sorry ... but you gotta' know the truth about this operation and it's possible aftermath).


On Friday, November 20, 2009, at 2:00 a.m., I was wheeled back into the same operating room where Dr. Felix performed another surgery to repair a twisted bowel.  Honestly, I'd have to spend too much time looking for my envelope that had both information and a photo of this surgery (but trust me -- it was a cool photo - haha) - and I can't even remember the technical name of the issue I had.  I know that the surgeon described it by saying my intestine had a kink in it like a garden hose.  It had looped over and become twisted -- so nothing could go down through the hose.  Suffice it to say - it hurt.  But the fix was quick and relatively painless and once I could begin sipping liquid again I was home free.


Over the next few months my weight loss progressed and really the only 'negative' side effect following the gastric bypass was a major bout of kidney stones that left me with more pain than I remember being in while I was delivering my second son without an epidural.  He was a "big" little guy who, it turns out, was "sunnyside up" - and came out weighing a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces.  But yes - the kidney stone pain was worse than that delivery.  Maybe I just don't "remember" that delivery?  Maybe it's just that, with that delivery, I got something great out of it at the end ... whereas with kidney stones the only thing you deliver is an ugly piece of granite.  I passed three kidney stones over the course of ... well, a while ... and let's just say those suckers hurt.  I had not been drinking my water as I had been instructed to up until that time.  Trust me - I drink my water faithfully these days!


This morning I weighed 135 pounds.


Initially, I wanted to get down to 125 pounds but after going back and forth (many times) I finally decided to set my *first* personal weight loss goal at 135 pounds.  I knew in my heart I could reach that weight, I knew in my heart I wouldn't feel like I was "starving" to get there and I knew in my heart people weren't going to constantly be saying my face looked too drawn/gaunt (I hate hearing that, by the way).  So far I've only had one person tell me my face was looking too thin and it didn't really bother me this time around because, quite frankly, my face isn't looking too thin at this point.


I could easily stand to drop another 10-12 pounds and I think that is my goal now.  I had decided - when I decided to make my goal 135 pounds - that I would get to this point and then honestly reevaluate things -- how I felt, how I looked, how my clothes fit, how things were going overall.  Now I'm at that point of reevaluation and ~

I do not feel that losing another 10 pounds would be too much of a weight loss.  I also want a little bit of leeway to relax every once in a while without fearing that a 24 hour one or two pound gain was going to put me over my ultimate goal of 135.  IF I can get down into the 120's, THEN I will have breathing room -- not to gain but to relax at least a little knowing that I'm not right at the verge of breaking 135.


It's a personal decision.  Some would say I shouldn't allow an ounce of leeway.  BUT - that's "some" - that's not me.  This is trial and error here and I'm in the trial phase.  If I find it is an error then I'll have to revisit the idea.


There you have it - blog entry #1 of "Becky's BEYOND Bariatric Bypass" blog.


Welcome ... and thanks for stopping by!  Be sure to scroll down the blog a bit for some before/after pics!  ;-)

AFTER PICTURES

BEFORE PICTURES

And I guess ... if they can reveal similar shots such as this next one on the "Biggest Loser" ... 

I can too ~