OH YEAH!

There are days I feel I have been downright  [naughty]

when it comes to my eating habits.

However, I DO 

 

[Believe]

 ... things are beginning to

     









[CLICK] for me! 

I have been concentrating on getting more water in on a daily basis, I have been wearing a pedometer to track my movement progress, and I have really realized that I need to up my protein intake. 

 It is[Essential] that I focus daily on getting adequate amounts of protein, healthy carbs, water, vitamin/mineral supplements.

I must say … this time of growth has sparked a  

[Revival]


in my enthusiasm about achieving optimum health and because of this I am simply *Soy* excited! ;-)

I’m on my way, baby.

OH YEAH!

Today

In an effort to get a handle on my procrastination, I have decided that I will commit to more regular blogging ... one of these days.  (lol)

But for now ~ just an update on life.

I had my gallbladder removed a week ago Thursday and all went well ... piece o' cake (pardon the pun).  I decided to take both Thurs-Fri. off even though I felt like I probably could've returned to work on Friday.

I did return to work the following Monday and felt great - 100%.  No issues.  At one point in the day I had to go across the street to our main office building so I left my desk, got to the crosswalk and started to jog across the street.  I wasn't even thinking about the fact that I had surgery a few days prior, wasn't even thinking about stitches, etc. 

Well - one popped open.  Again, no biggy.  Until yesterday ~

This particular incision site - which looked a little angry by Wed. - was completely pissed by Saturday.  So much so that I began running a slight fever and the site was swollen, surrounded by a narly red ring and oozing (sorry, TMI).  Headed to a walk-in clinic about 30 minutes before closing (because I kept digging my heels in telling my husband I wasn't going to go - ha) ... and, long story short, walked out with a culture being sent to a lab to determine "what type" of infection took hold but with the diagnosis that I did, in fact, have an infection.

Hmph.

So - I'm taking an oral antibiotic 3x per day, along with a topical antibiotic 3x ... good news?  They were super cheap!  (ha)

The other good news?  When I weighed in at the walk-in clinic she said I was 131 pounds.  Not my personal ideal of 123 but ... hey, it wasn't 231 pounds now, right?!

That was one of the shockers after gallbladder surgery ... I stood on the scale on Friday and I was up 6 (almost 7) pounds!!!   I was soooo freaked.  Saturday?  Same thing - no, I take it back.  I was up an ADDITIONAL pound.  I had a lot of shoulder pain which was attributed to air (I'm told) .... and thankfully both the air and the poundage have worked their "weigh" out of my body and I'm now weighing about 4 pounds less than pre-surgery. 

Yes, I'm smiling.

Funny thing was - when I was given discharge instructions for 'wound care' I noticed at the top the lady typed in my weight as being 132.  I wanted that one pound that she added removed from my record!  When I stood at the scale she said (and I saw the dial @) 131.

131 lady ... 131.  GET IT RIGHT!  ;-)

(Funny - 3 years ago I would've given anything to see 132 on the scale ... but now ... I want at least 131.)

;-)

It's the little things ~

Happy Easter  ;-)

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I am learning about change.  Specifically – I am learning about making long-term lifestyle changes.  These *lessons* are interesting – I’ll say that from the outset.

Prior to making my decision to undergo gastric bypass surgery, I had to have a long talk with myself and honestly evaluate some things.  The main question I had to ask myself was, “Will you forever change the way you approach food?”  I knew this could not be a temporary diet … it had to be a permanent lifestyle change.  [To be honest, I say I *knew* this but … I didn’t really believe it.  Yes, I had been told by many professionals and/or post op patients that ‘weight loss surgery wasn’t a cure-all - it was only a tool.’ But in all honesty I thought it’d be different for me.  I didn’t think that I would have to change too much – deep down inside I believed the smaller size of my stomach would make the changes for me. ]

And … for a while … this actually *was* the case.  The first year post bypass was a breeze … unbelievable.  I couldn’t eat too much, I didn’t want to eat too much, the weight came off and it was a piece of cake (pardon the pun). 

Then … somewhere around the one year mark … my hunger started to return.  And during the Christmas holiday I decided to *taste* a little chocolate to *see* if it threw me into the dreaded “dump”-ster. 

It did not.

I’m not sure if that revelation made me happy or sad.  [Oh, who am I kidding?!  Of course it made me happy!]  It also scared me (and I have learned over the past several months that a healthy dose of fear can be a good thing)!

So here is where I am today as far as my body/stomach is concerned food wise:  I can eat just about anything.  The only food[s] I have trouble with are starchy foods (any type of bread, pasta, etc.).  And – my hunger has returned.  Not necessarily real *hunger* – my desire to use food for purposes other than satisfying true hunger and/or to meet valid nutrition needs.  I find myself tempted to turn to food when I’m stressed, bored, happy, sad.  Food is trying to rekindle our friendship.  The little bastard. 

Lately I’ve had more conversations with myself than Sybil!  I’m finally learning to think before I eat, to listen to my body and *hear* whether my hunger is truly hunger for food or an attempt to stifle emotions such as boredom, sadness, stress.  I’m learning to slow down, to relax, to take time, to evaluate what I am really feeling before I reach for the cupboard door.  I have decided that eating stuffs more emotions than Stove Top stuffs turkeys! 

I’m learning to allow myself to *feel*!

That’s not easy.  It sounds easy … but it’s not. 

And once upon a time – if I had an urge to grab something from the fridge or cupboard - I wouldn’t even attempt to discipline myself.  If I wanted it – I got it.  End of story.  I didn’t care why I wanted it – I didn’t try to figure out if the *hunger* was legit. 

“Nobody’s gonna’ tell *me* what I can or cannot eat – this is my life … I’m a big girl now!”  And then it hit me:  I’m *not* a big girl [physically] any more … I’m actually one of those littler girls now! 

But I *am* mature enough to know better, mature enough to make some decisions, mature enough to say no, mature enough to exercise control, mature enough to talk back to the still small voice whispering *sweet somethings* in my ear. 

Further, I’m realizing:  It is *not* a given that everyone who has weight loss surgery will regain some or all of their weight back although that is what I was led to believe.  It is also not a given that everyone who has weight loss surgery will reach their goal weight and keep it off.

I am a person who does better with positive motivation.  Please don’t tell me the odds are against me – don’t try to *scare* me into submission.  Maybe that works for some but – not for me.  I can handle the truth but … I like a half full (not half ass-ed) glass.  I want to hear that there’s a great chance I am going to succeed. 

AND – the most powerful truth I am learning is – I don’t need ANYBODY else to tell me these things.  They can come from within me.   I am starting to hear from myself!  I am starting to believe I can do this. 

I believe I AM doing this!  It’s sooo COOL!

(I like the sound of my voice these days!)